THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Today is blasphemy Wednesday.

Before getting to the disaster that was Taco Tuesday, it is inspiring to think about perfection.

Like many, I constantly strive and fail to reach perfection. As a kid, even though I hated school, I was always afraid that the one day I missed, good things would happen. I never got the perfect attendance award. Several years I missed one day. My parents knew I was not one to play hooky, and they insisted on keeping me home when I was ill. I just couldn’t get through without missing that one day.

I have been with my current firm for over three years. For three years I did not miss a day of work. I took my vacations, but did not call in sick. I remember James Caan in “The Program” asking one of his football players, “Are you injured or are you hurt?” When the player wanted to know the difference, the coach replied, “If you’re injured, you can’t play. If you’re hurt, you can play.”

I have been hurt, but not injured. So I went to work. I would get bored out of my mind at home, given how much I hate daytime television. So I go to the office and tough it out. Yet a few weeks ago I was down for the count. It was a Thursday, and I knew that if I could hit the showers by 8:30am, like I always do, being in at 9am was easy. At 8:22am I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, unable to stand up. The shower was right there. 11 minutes later, at 8:33am, I gave it one final push. I could not get up. At 8:35am I called the boss. He was surprised, but I told him, “I’m injured.”

By the early afternoon I felt well enough to come into work. I could work a half day, and make up the hours, and keep my streak intact. Yet logic took over, and I decided to stay home. The next day I started a new streak.

Three hours seems impressive, but 17 years without missing work is more impressive. This is why the flags are flying half staff today at Green Bay, Wisconsin. Quarterback legend Brett Favre announced his retirement after 17 NFL seasons. The iron man of professional football did not miss a single game. From the third week of the 1992 season to the crushing overtime loss in this year’s NFC Title Game, Brett Favre had 100% perfect attendance. He was the Cal Ripken of football.

Many are questioning why he would retire when his team was so close to the Superbowl last year. Some are speculating that the inability to land Randy Moss played a role. Yet his reasons are his own.

Steve at www.norunnyeggs.com is most likely in mourning today. Pray for him.

Perfect attendance is impressive, but the one thing to keep in mind is that showing up is not enough. Had I gone to work the day I was sick I would have slept at my desk, contributing not an ounce of productivity. I would have been cheating myself. Perfection should not have an asterisk next to it.

Brett Favre battled a painkiller addiction early in his career, but he never cheated the game of football. He went all out, all the time. He won a Superbowl, and was one drive away from possible back to back titles. His fourth quarter comebacks are numerous. He has shattered the record books, leaving as the all time passing leader in several categories. His record of accomplishments is as lengthy as his 17 years, and he is a lock to be a first ballot Hall of Famer.

I think about this because it seems that in politics, unlike sports, merit does not seem to matter. People make claims, and those claims are just accepted. People do not have to prove themselves. They do not have to take responsibility for their own actions. Congress works Tuesday through Thursday, and praises itself for hard work. Resume padding is the norm.

This is how Hillary Clinton, a woman with no notable accomplishments, can brag about her 35 years of experience. She is now 60 years old. That means that when she graduated law school at age 25, her experience began. Does anybody think that those years contributed anything to her readiness today?

She cites several examples of her experience. One is how she fought for universal health care. So what? She lost. She failed. This does not make her a bad person, but we do not reward people in life for trying. We reward people for results. Hillary Clinton attempted to do something, and she failed. This is not an accomplishment.

She also discusses her role in bringing peace to Northern Ireland. She had nothing to do with the Irish peace process. It was George Mitchell, a seasoned Senatorial veteran with years of experience involving negotiations, who got the job done.

Hillary speaks of her standing up to the Chinese with regards to the rights of women. Again, so what? This did not lead to a policy change of any kind. She made  aspeech. She has continually attacked Barack Obama for being more about speeches than solutions, but all she did was make a speech. It was ignored. To put it blountly, she is not a good speaker. She does not inspire.

Her visiting 80 countries with Chelsea means absolutely nothing. I have visited foreign nations and managed not to get into any fistfights. This does not mean I am a diplomat. I am a tourist. Hillary Clinton was a famous tourist. She was a celebrity who was married to somebody that was a President.

One of the reasons she was sent to all of these places was to get her out of the United States, especially during election years. The more people hear her, the less they like her.

Hillary Clinton is simply a bland person who married a gifted person. She confuses his gifts with hers. She claims experience that she does not possess. She takes credit for accomplishes that have nothing to do with her. She takes blame for nothing. Worse still, she is here to stay. She will not voluntarily go away…ever.

I have often said that it is better to have people ask “why are you leaving,” than “when are you leaving?” Very few people get to walk away on their own terms. They hang around until they are shells of their former selves. Former Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway won back to back Superbowls, and then retired. He wanted to play, but admitted that his body, “just couldn’t do it any more.” Other athletes like boxer Evander Holyfield retire several times.

I still think that Brett Favre will change his mind and come back. After everything he has done, he is entitled to do so.

Hillary Clinton will leave when she is dragged kicking and screaming from the building. Worse still, despite much of the American electorate wanting her to leave, she will not put the good of anybody else above what is best for her. People need her because she says so.

Yes, she won Ohio. She also won Texas, at least the primary aspect of it. Yes, these are legitimate victories, but should that erase the fact that she lost 11 contest in a row? Barack Obama was racking up wins, while she was offering excuses. She is ready to tear the democratic party apart to get the nomination. This is not what team players do. Ask any backup quarterback how to behave, and they tell you that they practice hard, and patiently wait their turn, and accept the decision of the coaches. They put the team above themselves.

Hillary Clinton is a fire breathing dragon, Lady MacBeth minus the warmth. Like most dragons, breathing fire to destroy the Earth is another day at the office for her.

The Iron Man has taught us what life is about, and how to live. The Fire Lady has taught us how not to live. He walked away, possibly before his time, on his own terms. She will stay until the very last vestige of power has been ripped from her body and soul.

Short of repealing the 19th amendment, I have no answers.

http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2008/01/10/repeal-the-19th-amendment/

Charlotte Allen explains in the Washington Post that perhaps women are just not very bright.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/29/AR2008022903397.html

I am too disgusted to add anything else regarding Texmex Tuesday. For the Milli Vanillionth time, Hillary and Bill Clinton have morphed into Bill Murray from “What about Bob.” “Gone? They’re never gone!”

Before we roll out the barrel and get to the Pennsylvania Polka, the Wyoming caucus and Mississippi primary will hopefully finally help remove this cancerous lesion from the Presidential race.

Yet this woman, married to Lazarus, will not be counted out. I remain frightful. She can still win.

Yet no matter what, the republic will survive. So will I.

Besides, Las Vegas was fun, the Chicago hotel tower suite is gorgeous, and so is the “Chicago Cannonball.”

I am not allowed to elaborate at this time. Well I am, but I might get throttled.

Off to listen to rock group “The Cult” sing “Fire Woman.”

“Fire…smoke she is a rising…smoke on the horizon baby…Fire Woman.”

Perhaps the only thing that should be retired is today’s column.

There. Done.

eric         

I love Europe.

No, not the continent. That I could care less about. I am referring to the 1980s hard rock band led by Joey Tempest. Before getting to the democratic debate, I want to offer why Europe the band is relevant.

Sure, like most debates, they had songs that offered fluff, such as “Rock the night.”

“Rock now, rock the night…till early in the morning light.”

Europe, in an age that was often seen as more style than substance, offered both. The song “Cherokee” is meaningful.

“The white man’s creed…in search of gold…made the nation bleed…the promises were lies…Cherokee…marching on the trail of tears…Cherokee.”

Yet the song that will forever define Europe could very well be the swan song for Hillary Clinton. That song is “The Final Countdown.” The song is so intense is because it is about the possible very end of what is held dear.

Hillary Clinton badly and desperately wanted to be President. She may still be, but her dream is slipping away.

“Will things ever be the same again? It’s the final countdown!”

Hillary Clinton does not go down gracefully. Like a nuclear bomb destroying all of civilization, she is embarking on a scorched Earth strategy that could destroy everyone, including her. If she cannot have the job, nobody can.

Like aging rockers that have to be forced into retirement, living off their past, Hillary continued to talk about her 35 years of experience, basking in the glow of things she claims to have done when her husband held the job.

Perhaps she should take note that Europe did wane in popularity for awhile, but put out a final hit song that asks the question, “Will we survive? In the future to come?”

The future is what matters, not the past. We can romanticize deeds past and songs past, but we cannot rebuild the future exactly as the past was. We can wax nostalgic, but we all grow older, and doing so gracefully allows people to be remembered more favorably. Refusing to accept that time marches on often leads people to be crushed by the changes of life, which always come no matter how hard we try to stand in the way.

Texas may have been the Alamo, but the Cleveland, Ohio debate may have been Hillary’s last stand.

Europe’s hard rock love ballad “Carrie,” says it perfectly.

“Can’t you see it in my eyes…that this may be our last goodbye…oohhhhhh…Carrie…things they change my friend…ohhhh…Carrie…maybe we’ll meet again.”

It fades out with the words that began the song…”when lights go down.”

The lights have not been turned out, but the people are exiting Hillary’s stage, and she is screaming at them to stay, even when they are clearly stating that they want to go to the new rock concert across the street.

With that, below is the Ohio debate recap.

Much of the debate contained significant rehashing of the points covered in the Texas debate only several days earlier.

http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/texas-smackdown/

Hillary was asked about her warm fuzzy statements from the close of the last debate in contrast with her scorched Earth comments in days after the debate.

Hillary answered the inconsequential question with an inconsequential answer. She did so in a calm manner before meandering into health care. She said Obama’s information was false, misleading and inaccurate.

She was then asked about the photo showing Obama looking like a member of the Taliban.

She stated that it did not come from her campaign.

Obama stated that he took Clinton at her word. He stated that Hillary’s campaign has sent mailers smearing his plan in places from Iowa to Nevada, before reiterating the health care mandate issue. He stated that his campaign “does not whine about it.”

Hillary repeated her arguments from the Texas debate. She cited her experts, and Obama then cited his. He again proffered the same issue from Texas regarding how Hillary would enforce her mandate.

Every time moderators try to shift gears, Hillary interrupts them and insists on talking more by saying this issue is “too important.” She then repeats the same rehashed points from previous debates.

Obama claimed he “was being filibustered on this topic.”He again explained the difference between mandates on children and mandates on adults. Obama pointed out that Medicare Part B is voluntary, and not a mandate, and yet people still utilize it.

Hillary kept interjecting and rambling. Obama calmly reiterated his plan.

The debate finally shifted to NAFTA. The Houston Chronicle loves it, an Ohio Congressman detests it. Hillary was asked who was right.

Hillary then had a meltdown. She stated that it was curious that she always gets the first question on issues. She alluded to the Saturday Night Live skit making fun of the media’s love affair with Obama. She looked like a spoiled brat complaining.

She then straddled, saying that NAFTA did some good things, but had hurt others. We need to “fox” NAFTA, and have a “trade timeout.” She had cited that the Cleveland Plain Dealer criticized Obama’s “attacks on her.”

Obama pointed out that Hillary campaigned in 2000 for Senate supporting NAFTA, and that it is false for her to claim to always be against it. He was always against it. He stated that Hillary has “shifted positions.”

Tim Russert repeated Hillary’s many comments supporting NAFTA, and asked if she would invoke the 6 month opt out clause of NAFTA.

Hillary again straddled, saying that she would opt out “if NAFTA was not renegotiated.” When she tried to shift into an attack on Obama, Russert refused to let her do so. She grew flush with anger, and kept trying to have both sides of the issue.

When again pressed about opting out, she again stated that she was “confident it would be renegotiated.”

Obama wanted to avoid being a deer in the headlights like Hillary was, so he just stated that he “agreed with Hillary.” He filibustered and offered some class warfare, but nothing of substance.

Obama was asked if NAFTA was good for Ohio given that they are fourth in the nation in exports.

He replied that Russert’s question was a “valid point,” before blaming “the wealthy.” He then stole a line from Hillary about “green jobs.”

Hillary’s arms were folded and she looked angry.

Hillary was asked about her pledge for 5 million new jobs new jobs, when the same pledge made in 2000 for 250,000 new jobs for her Senate race fell flat into a jobs deficit. She was given the chance to revoke her pledge.

She instead blamed republicans, stating that her pledge was based on Al Gore being President. She then cited her husband’s job creation record.

Obama was asked about comments attacking his foreign policy experience. It was compared to President Bush.

Obama coolly got off a great line by stating that Hillary “equates experience with longevity in Washington.” He then reiterated their differences on Iraq, and again laid out his views on Pakistan.

Brian Williams pointed out that Hillary “took a pass” on answering the question in the last debate regarding Obama’s experience.

Hillary again passed, but took credit for things that had nothing to do with her. She claimed credit for peace in Northern Ireland, which was the work of former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell. She also cited standing up for women’s rights in Beijing. This is ironic because she criticizes Obama for being all talk and no action. Her words in China moved nobody.

She also stated it was unfair that he gets credit for claiming he took positions before he was in the Senate, and that once he got to the Senate they voted the same way. She then again unleashed her resume. She claims she would be much better equipped to take on John McCain.

Obama disputed Hillary’s antiwar claim, mentioning that he was in the middle of trying to get elected when he passionately came out against the war. He stated that those who voted for the war “drove the car into the ditch.”

As Obama stated that Hillary “enabled” George W. Bush, Hillary actually looked like she would explode in anger. His views are not based on a “speech.” They reflect his “judgment.” He stated that her position was the same as that of President Bush until she started running for President.

Before Hillary could reply, Russert shifted to the issue of troop withdrawal. He asked if the troops would be immediately withdrawn if the Iraqis wanted that.

Obama mentioned a “phased” withdrawal.

Hillary stated that there is “no military solution.” She would “absolutely” listen to the Iraqi government.

Russert asked a tough question. If things in Iraq went to hell after we left, would we reinvade?

Hillary argued it was hypothetical, Russert insisted it was a “real” scenario,” and Hillary argued with him. Hillary criticized President Bush and Obama, but would not answer the question about reentering Iraq. She mentioned that Obama has not held one hearing on Afghanistan or Pakistan.

Obama pointed out that he only became chairman of this particular committee since 2007. He ducked the question about reinvading. He then stated we should “always cooperate with our allies.” That reminded me of John Kerry’s 2004 “global test” remark in one debate that hurt him.

Hillary tried to respond, and Brian Williams needed to cut to commercial. She tried to cut him off, but the commercial break won out.

Obama was asked about Hillary’s sarcastic remarks towards him in speeches. Obama heard his own words and said, “sounds good,” to laughter. Hillary cackled. He stated that Hillary was amusing. He stated that he has a 20 year record, and that if Hillary thinks he is all talk, she should talk to the “veterans of Walter Reed.” This was in regards to a law he helped shepherd to help such veterans. He offered his rational for running, which was to help people.

Hillary stated that she was “just having a little fun,” with her jabs at Obama, before moving on to attacks against special interests, oil companies, and President Bush, none of whom had anything to do with the question. She then tried to mention every city in Ohio for the sake of mentioning them. She pointed out a couple differences on votes, such as Obama supporting Vice President Cheney’s energy bill that she voted against, in addition to a credit card bill they disagreed on.

In a hint of irony, she attacked those that would “never give up.” She said this as she flailed away, with the moderator again trying to get her to stop talking.

Obama was showed the video of him criticizing Hillary for using her First Lady experience when it suits her, while running away from that record when it does not suit her.

Obama reinforced his statements, using NAFTA as an example of her claiming she was behind the scenes disagreeing with it. Obama stated he voted against the credit card bill, and brought up the issue that Hillary in a previous debate said that she “voted for it but hoped it would not pass.” Obama, to laughter, pointed out that the way to keep bills from passing is to simply vote against them.

Obama then calmly offered a dagger. He pointed out that Hillary keeps claiming to be a fighter, which she herself again mentioned in her previous answer dealing with health care. The problem is she fights with everybody, and that her health care approach in 1993 excluded people like the late Senator Patrick Moynihan, and that in the end nothing got done. He can work with people. It was a cooly delivered but very persuasive argument. He also pointed out that there was nothing silly about inspiring people. He also mentioned Hillary taking millions of dollars from special interests.

Russert asked Obama about his pledge to opt by public financing, which he is now “waffling” on.

Obama stated that if he became the nominee, he would sit down with John McCain and try to work out a fair deal. He [pointed out that 90% of his donations were from smallinvestors, with the average donation being $109.

Russert persisted about opting out, and Obama reiterated his position. Russert then pointed out to Hillary that she she and her husband would not release their tax returns. Russert stated that Americans have a right to know who is bankrolling her campaign.

Hillary replied that “the American people who support me are bankrolling my campaign.” She stated that she “will release my tax returns, I have consistently said that.”

Russert asked, “Why not now?”

Hillary replied that normally campaigns do it when they become the nominee, or earlier, and that she “has been as open as I can be.” She said she “will get it together, but not right now, she is a little busy (with the campaign), hardly have time to sleep.” She will “work towards releasing” them.

She was also asked about her archives as First Lady be released. Hillary stated that she absolutely would, and blamed a slow process. She somehow blamed the Bush White House for slowing the process. I give her credit for officially being the most brazen human being in existence. She stated she will take care of this, “as soon as we can, she urged it to be taken care of.”

Russert asked Obama of his being endorsed by Louis Farrakhan.

Obama nailed it. He condemned Frrakhan’s antisemitic remarks, and stated that the endorsement was not solicited. Russert asked if the endorsement should be rejected. Obama stammered, but then stated that he will not object to somebody else “thinking I am a good guy.” There was mild laughter, and Obama again denounced Farrakhan’s antisemitism.

Russert asked about Obama’s Pastor Jeremiah Wright, who has supported Farrakhan. Specifically, Obama was asked about whether his Jewish support would dry up as this becomes more well known.

Obama stated that some of his strongest support is form the Jewish community, and that he is a staunch supporter of Israel. He would “not tolerate antisemitism in any form.” He also wants to “rebuild a historical relationship between the Jewish and African-American communities.” He took his remarks further by saying, “I would not be sitting here were it not for a whole host of Jewish Americans who supported the civil rights movement, and helped to ensure that justice was served in the South.” Obama pointed out that on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, he spoke out against antisemitism at a Baptist Church.

Every black American that harbors antisemitic attitudes should be forced to watch that clip of Obama. It was a spectacular…and true…answer.

Hillary took the opportunity to point out that in New York in 2000, the Independence Party was controlled by antisemites. She rejected their support and refused to be associated with them. She claimed it was a bold stand on principle, but the truth is the Independence Party at the time was a fringe element, and any sane person would reject them. It was the right thing to do, but not bold at all.

Hillary contrasted by saying she rejects the support while Obama merely denounces it. Obama laughed uncomfortably. Obama said he did not see the difference, but that if Hillary felt rejection was a stronger word than denunciation, he would “concede the point and reject and denounce.” Hillary said, “good, good,” as if she had won a significant argument. The crowd clapped for Obama. Brian Williams made light of the difference as well, allowing the semantics to segue to a commercial.

Williams then pointed out to Obama that his record was more liberal than Ted Kennedy according to the National Journal.

Obama responded that the National Criteria Journal had only two votes where he and Hillary differentiated. One was an arcane immigration point, in addition to a procedural aspect of an ethics bill. He successfully showed it to be inside baseball, and that the “categories don’t make sense.” Obama stated that “people don’t want to go back to old labels of liberal vs conservative. They want common sense.”

This was smooth, but another example of a liberal being too gutless to simply admit proudly that they are a liberal.

Russert then asked a very relevant question about the Russian election on March 2nd, and what they knew about the man that would be the successor to Vladimir Putin.

Hillary stated that the man is a “handpicked successor.” Hillary attacked the guy, but did not mention his name. Perhaps she did not know it. She did correctly point out that Putin is trying to hold on to power, and attacked President Bush’s Russia position. We need a “more realistic and effective strategy.” When asked if she knew his name, she stuttered. She then had trouble pronouncing it, and then after saying the name, added the word, “whatever.”

Yes, this is the lady that detests President Bush so much. Thank the heavens for You Tube for moments like this.

Obama said that Hillary spoke accurately about Putin. Obama then criticized Bush’s friendly relationship with Putin.

Russert showed why he is one of the best in the business. He is a bulldog. He asked Obama what he would do if the new Russian President Medvedev helped Serbia retake Kosovo.

Obama stated he would “work with the international community…state that this is unacceptable.” He mentioned NATO. He then praised the Clinton administration with regards to Kosovo.

What Obama did not mention was the willingness to use military action.

Russert then asked a question that has been asked before, but is still relevant. He wanted to know if either of them had a vote they would like to take back. Hillary is unable to ever admit she is wrong. Even on Iraq, she claims to have been duped by President Bush. This was another opportunity for her to admit she is not perfect.

Hillary again brought up her 2002 Iraq vote, and again blamed the President. Again, Hillary failed to ever admit that she herself was ever wrong about anything. It makes the charge of Obama’s stick, that she takes credit for the good, but never takes blame for the bad. She can’t do it. Humans make mistakes. It is what makes the human. This lack of ability to do this is what makes Hillary come across as an android.

She then shifted to pablum about the future. She mentioned the failure to end the genocide in Darfur. It was her husband that failed to end the genocide in Rwanda, yet she continued to say that “we could have an entire program on what we inherited from George W. Bush.”

Obama mentioned the Terry Schaivo situation. He mentioned that Congress intervened in the matter. Obama was against intervening, but he did not stand on the Senate floor and try and stop it. He stayed silent, and that was a mistake. He even added, “as a constitutional law professor, I knew better.” He also said that “inaction can be as costly as action.”

This is the difference between the two candidates on this issue. A sincere question was asked about what they did that was wrong. Obama answered it, and Hillary did not. It is another reason why he is likable and she is not.

Americans like those that take responsibility for their failures. JFK took the blame for the Bay of Pigs Fiasco. Harry Truman is famous for his sign that said, “the buck stops here.” With Hillary, the buck stops with every other human being who is not her.

Obama then praised Hillary, and stated that he was proud to be campaigning with her, echoing her comments about him from the previous debate. It was an attempt to end positively, but both candidates may or may not have been aware that one question remained.

The last question by Brian Williams was to both candidates. Each candidate was to state what the other candidate needs to still answer to be worthy of being the nominee.

Obama stated that Hillary would be worthy, but that he would be better. Otherwise he would not be running. He stated that Hillary is better than Senator John McCain, who is tied to President Bush. Obama stated that the reason he thinks he is better is that he “can bring people together in a unique way.” This will be necessary, and he has the track record to do it. He has a “unique bias in favor of opening up government.”

Hillary mentioned being the first woman President, and the audience clapped. Her issue was who can actually change the country. Shockingly enough, she mentioned her 35 years of experience. She then again spoke about health care.

Not a single question about the War on Terror was asked.

This was a reversal of Texas. Obama was cool, calm and collected. Hillary was angry, shrill, combative…she was basically herself at her worst. She blamed the moderators, Obama, President Bush, and everybody but the one person that is responsible for her failure to be more likable…herself.

Barack Obama won this debate by a landslide.

“Prisoners in Paradise…so far from Heaven’s door…we had it all, but still we wanted more…I asked myself, was it right or wrong, for me to turn away…we’re just children of tomorrow, hanging on to yesterday…I realize, that I can’t turn back…the future’s here to stay…we’re just children of tomorrow…hanging on to yesterday.”

This is not a Joey Tempest in a Teapot. It is about choosing the next leader of the free world. Europe left a legacy of beauty. Hillary will be remembered. The only question is if she wants to be remembered as somebody who truly tried to raise a village, or if she was more obsessed with burning the village for not making her the leader.

“I’m not superstitious…I have no doubt…that there’s a reason…that things turn out…I want you to know…you’re on my mind…every day…all of the time… So keep on walking that road, and I’ll follow…keep on calling my name, I’ll be there…if a mirror should break…it’s easy to take…deep down I know that you care…I’m not superstitious.”

Hillary is not yet history, but she is collapsing under her attempt to try and shape all of the near history herself. Existence is bigger than her, and she is crumbling under the weight of trying to accept that before she existed and long after she is gone, the world will do just fine.

It’s the Final Countdown.

eric

With apologies to Barry Manilow, who should himself apologize for so many reasons, I bring you the 2008 political version of the Copacabana, from Hawaii to Wisconsin to Havana.

Supporters of Hillary…

They yelled “You go, girl!”

Oh she of ever changing hair,

and not an ounce of flair…

She would meander…

and cackle “ha-ha!”

and while she tried to be a star

Obama came in from afar

He commanded a crowded floor

And Oprah added more

They were young, hip, and attractive

Who could ask for more?

It was pure Oprah…

and Obamamania…

From Hawaii to Wisconsin to Havana…

Obama reached out…

Hill hates republicans…

Barack inspired passion,

Hill was out of fashion…

Obamamania…

Hill lost the love…

His name was Fidel…

He ruled an Island…

Decrepit in his chair

He saw Hillary standing there

When she finished…

He called her over…

2 socialists in love…

Until hubby Bill took off the gloves…

And then the punches flew…

Chairs were smashed in two…

One man collapsed from boredom upon the floor…

But who bored who?

Not Oprah…

Or Obama…

They were hot from Honolulu to Havana…

Obamamania…

had swept Wisconsin

Barack brought more passion

Hill fell further out of fashion

Obamamania…

She lost more love

Her name was Hillary…

They once screamed “You go, girl!”

But that was many years ago

When she and Bill ran the show

There is still dancing…

but not for Hillary

Fading like Fidel…

Her dreams have gone to hell…

She’s now even more unkind

She beats Bill till he’s blind

She lost her youth,

She lost the election,

Now she’s lost her mind

Because Oprah…

and Obama…

Are off to Texas and Ohio with momentum

They worry about John McCain…

and the General Election Campaign…

Heroism vs passion…

Both gave Hill a smashing…

Yet she learned nothing…

2012 with love…

Ok folks, I admit it. I have some serious screws loose.

I guess I am just giddy. First the New England Patriots lose.

Then Fidel Castro leaves not with a bang, but with a whimper, in the form of a note, most likely one spelled badly.

Anything truly is possible. I truly still believe Hillary will somehow find a way at the 11th hour to steal…

You know what? Never mind. I will declare today an optimism only zone.

Thank you Hawaii, Wisconsin and Havana. The world is three small steps closer to being a better place today than it was yesterday.

Despots do not go gently into that good night. They hang on by their fingernails, dragged from the world stage kicking and screaming.

Yet lord willing, get dragged away they will. Fidel Castro and Hillary Clinton are not gone.

Yet slowly, ever so slowly, they might just might be on the verge of leaving.

Hillary is right that Obama is an empty suit, but it is a likable suit that looks nice. Unfortunately for her, she is an empty suit that is unlikable. She will hopefully soon be confined to wherever people keep leisure suits. Perhaps she can wear one while playing shuffleboard at some political retirement home, far away from Washington, DC.

The 2008 race for the democratic nomination and the right to get trounced by republican John McCain continues. He is one tough hombre. It would be fitting if the old war hero outlasts the Cuban cancer that bedeviled 10 previous U.S. Presidents.

(quick election update…with 8% in Hawaii, Obama led 77 to 23%. More importantly, Hillary had exactly 666 votes. I could not make that up if I tried)

The old warhorse will prosper, while Fidel Castro and Hillary Clinton will get lost once and for all.

At the risk of plagiarizing Barack Obama, or perhaps Deval Patrick, on this issue…

I have hope.

eric

Wow! What a thriller of a Superbowl.

For those expecting a Superbowl recap, you will have to wait until Saturday. You shouldn’t have missed the game anyway. Life is about adventure, and sometimes my adventures are more harrowing than what takes place on the field.

At 4:30pm on Saturday, I made a decision to go to the Superbowl. I have watched them on tv with millions of people, but never been to one. 50 years from now, when I have grandchildren, and they are watching clips of Eli Manning and “the scramble,” I will tell them that the day the Giants shocked the world…I was there.

Yet life after the Superbowl was not good. First of all, I could not even get a plane ticket home from Phoenix to Los Angeles. I was going to have to fly into Long Beach, which meant my cab ride would be exorbitant. Compared to the price of Superbowl tickets, I could live with this. What I did not fctor into my flight home was the fact that parts of Arizona never change their clocks. Half of the year, LA and Phoenix are exactly the same time. This time of year, Phoenix is one hour ahead.

This meant that kickoff was after 4pm, not 3pm. That meant that there was no way to make my outbound flight, and there were no other flights. So I decided to drive all the way back to LA, a 5 hour drive according to what people told me. Yet this was an inconvenience. Trying to get to my car was a nightmare.

I was one of the last people to leave the stadium, since I wanted to soak up every ounce of Superbowl memory. Had I alked with others to my car, it would have been fine. I walked alone, and I could not find my car. I did not park at the stadium. I parked at the local high school, which was near the stadium. Yet the people who told me where the high school was located were wrong. I walked back and forth for what must have been 3 or 4 miles. In an awful development, I learned that there were two high schools. They were both near each other, but on opposite sides of the stadium.

I called Hertz, and they told me that even though the car had a GPS tracker, they could not locate the car using that device. I was always under the impression that if a car is lost or stolen, they can find it. Perhaps Hertz just did not care. I even knocked on the doors of complete strangers at night, begging and pleading for directions.

My situation was desperate, and realizing that I was on the street in a city I knew nothing about late at night caused me to do the one thing that I did not want to do. I called 911.

Some may say calling 911 in this type of situation is extreme, but I literally felt like I was going to die on the streets of Phoenix. The police officer from the Glendale Police Department said I did the right thing by calling him, and that he would help me. He was very reassuring. Some people may dislike cops (which I don’t), but boy was I glad when he showed up. I explained to him that I clearly remembered the location of the car with regards to being across the street from a sign that had the name of the high school. I could not remember which high school, so he asked me which exit I came off of from the freeway to begin with.

He put my stuff in the back of his car, and after patting me down and making sure I had no weapons on me, he let me ride in the front of the squad car so I would only feel like an imbecile, and not a criminal. He said, “If you have to ride in a squad car as a civilian, this is the way to do it.” We went back on the freeway, looped around, and then I clearly saw the sign. I was at the wrong high school earlier, and 3 miles from where my car was. When I saw my own car I felt relieved, and after putting my stuff in the car, I asked the officer if I could give him a hug. He said yes.

It turns out the guy was a Charger fan, but his duty to help allowed him to save the life of a member of the Raider Nation. I told him that I would root for the Chargers to go 14-2 next year, provided they lose to the Raiders. He laughed. He waited for me to make sure my car would start. It did, and the GPS tracker told me I had 368 miles to go to reach Los Angeles. It was now 12:20am.

For legal reasons I cannot confirm or deny how fast I was driving on the way home, but if I had been pulled over, I would have just thanked the officer for saving my life. I will be sending a thank you note to the officer from Glendale, Arizona.

The only people on the road were truckers and me. I have always liked truckers, and have always loved the movie Smokey and the Bandit. Before getting into that trilogy, it seems that every song on the radio deal with driving.

“Life is a highway…I’m gonna ride it all night long.”

“Been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel.”

“Here I go again on my own…going down the only road I’ve ever known.”

At least I didn’t have to hear a depressing song, “Who’s gonna drive you home tonight.”

Yet when the radio station went fuzzy, not a good thing on long drives, it was the Smokey and the Bandit trilogy that sustained me. I was “Westboun and Down.” Yet instead of hauling illegal liquor from Atlanta to Texas, I was hauling my own tired self from Phoenix to Los Angeles. The Bandit Express was now the Tygrrrr Express.

“You heard about the Legend of Jesse James…John Henry just to mention some names…well there’s a driving legend in the west today…A man called Tygrrrr from L.A. CA. Every gear jammer knows his name…they say he’s got ice water running through his veins…foot like lead…and nerves of steel…gonna go to glory riding 18 wheels”

Nerves of steel not counting my near death and frayed nerves on the streets of Phoenix. Once in the car, I was calm.

“I hit California in a driving rain…so hard I couldn’t even see the passing lane…started to shift when I lost a gear…hit the breaks, found they had no air…the road ahead was steep and long, and everybody who saw it, thought the Tygrrrr was gone.

My wheels jacknifed turned completely round, I was going down backwards bout the speed of sound. Alot of folks seen it, but they all say, you better head out, better clear the way…well I got to the bottom…safe and sound…everybody asked ‘Tygrrrr, how’d you make it down,’ I said ‘folks when the wheels picked up too much speed, I just run along beside it and drug my feet.’

You heard the legend of Jesse James…John Henry just to mention some names…There’s a driving legend in the west today…a man called Tygrrrr from L.A. CA…Every gearjammer knows his name…they say he’s got icewater running through his veins…foot like lead, nerves of steel…gonna go to glory riding 18 wheels.”

Hey, at least it was better than driving songs such as Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “The smell of death,” and Golden Earring’s “Twilight Zone (although Radar Love was cited earlier).”

“Westbound and Down, loaded up and trucking…we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done…we gotta long way to go, and a short time to get there…westbound, for another Tygrrrr run. Put your foot hard on the pedal…son never mind them breaks…let it all hang out cause we got a run to make…”

Snowman: Hey Bandit, why are we doing this?

Bandit: Why not?

Snowman: They said it couldn’t be done.

Bandit: That’s the reason son.

Snowman: That’s good with Fred. we’re clear.

“If I keep it on the ground, when I put that hammer down…I’ll be Cali bound and flying…I’ve got my tin in the wind, let it all hang out again…how you gonna win if you aint trying.”

The Tygrrrr Express made its way through the desert, and eventually I did figure out how to work the windshield wipers. Arizona was easy, but I even managed to miss an exit in Los Angeles, where I have lived since 1990. I ended up downtown, adding 30 minutes.

“Hear that roar of thunder…hear those wild screams…every boy’s hero…every lady’s dream…flying down the highway headed west…in a streak of black lightning, called the Tygrrrr Express…

Look out the Tygrrrr’s prowling…look out the Tygrrrr’s growling…look out the Tygrrrr’s on the move…Look out the Tygrrrr’s growling, get your money and warn the women…tell the others they can all take a rest…cause they’ll never catch the Tygrrrr Express.”

I made it back to my bed at 5:30am, but thanks to that time zone thing that had vexed me earlier, it was only 4:30am. I made it to work, at least physically.

Yes, the young antihero of this blog who occasionally puts the Super in Superbowl is back at home, safe and sound.

So tell the others all to take a rest…cause they’ll never catch the Tygrrrr Express.

eric

Quick note…I cannot disclose the details, but I will briefly be on television tonight. Watch Fox News after the republican debate, and connect the dots. I will be the guy smiling while pretending not to be sobbing like a 4 year old girl. Now back to business.

“I don’t know where I’m going…but I sure know where I’ve been…hanging on the promises, and the songs of yesterday…I’ve made up my mind…wasting no more time…Here I go again…

I know what it means…to walk along a lonely street of dreams…

Here I go again on my own…going down the only road I’ve ever known…like a drifter I was born to walk alone…Here I go again.”

20 years have passed since Whitesnake gave us that song, with hard rock romantic David Coverdale on lead vocals. I think of his words today, because like many people out there, I feel lost right now, a fellow in the wilderness…the political wilderness.

A man I deeply believed in ran for President…and did not win the nomination. As awful as I feel, politics is very similar to sports, and I do not want to become one of those fans that takes the game harder than the players.

Yes, I wanted Rudy Giuliani to be President. Yet I cannot allow myself to feel worse than the Mayor feels himself. There are three reasons I believe in him.

1) He took a city somewhere between Detroit and Fallujah in terms of livability and turned it around.

2) He was magnificent on 9/11.

3) The Jayson Blair Times hates his guts.

I want him to soldier on, attend the California debate, win it, and clean up on Super Tuesday. Then again, the people have spoken, and I respect the decision, painful as it is.

I wonder if Rudy Giuliani knows who Del Shannon is. He is the guy sang “Runaway.”

“As I walk along, I wonder, what went wrong…”

I bring up because Del Shannon had success in life, but was miserable. He took his own life. Nobody should ever reach that level. Rudy Giuliani put his pain aside, made a very gracious speech, and will continue leading a happy life. His supporters should do the same.

So where do we go from here? We choose another candidate.

I backed John McCain in 2000. He was my second choice in 2008. I have said on more than one occasion that the only man who could keep me from voting for him is Rudy Giuliani. Rudy Giuliani and John McCain admire each other. It is a shame they could not both share the top job. Nevertheless, Rudy Giuliani believes in John McCain as the next best alternative to himself. I agree with that assessment.

John McCain can defeat Hillary Clinton. Mitt Romney would have a much tougher time. Conservatives are nervous that John McCain is loved by democrats. They should take note of the fact that the democrats who will be voting for a democrats are scared to death of him. They are licking their chops at facing Mitt Romney. This has to be taken into account.

John McCain is the man who in 2000 vowed that if he won the nomination, he would “beat Al Gore like a drum.” I pray that the feistiness and combativeness he has had with some in his own party will be extended to Hillary Clinton.

I also hope that McCain extends the Vice Presidential ticket to Rudy, and that Rudy accepts it. This truly would be a dream ticket. With Mitt Romney as the Treasury Secretary and Fred Thompson as Attorney General, all we would need is a top notch Secretary of Defense. Duncan Hunter would be a good choice, and so would Dick Lugar. McCain might cross party lines and go with Joseph Lieberman.

While this is not my first and most desired scenarios, I have backed many candidates that did not win. In some cases it turned out well, and in other cases not so well.

In 1996 I saw the 4 main candidates as Bob Dole, Phil Gramm, Jack Kemp, and Dan Quayle. I decided that Quayle, despite being much maligned, would be the clear conservative. Gramm was next, and if I had to, Kemp third and Dole fourth. When Kemp and Quayle opted not to run, the candidate I first became passionate about was Pete Wilson. I enthusiastically backed him. When he dropped out, I backed Lamar Alexander, with Dick Lugar being my second choice. Everybody dropped out except for the candidates I wanted least, Dole and Buchanan. As we now know, Dole and Kemp ran on a ticket that inspired nobody. I voted for Dole by default. Pete Wilson could have defeated Bill Clinton, and Alexander and Lugar would have been competitive.

In 2000, I enthusiastically backed McCain, and pumped my fist when he defeated George W. Bush in Michigan. Yet Bush won the nomination, and unlike 1996, I enthusiastically backed him. That turned out spectacularly well, and I was perfectly content to see McCain in 2008…until 9/11 and Giuliani.

To quote Rush Limbaugh, my success in life is not determined by who wins elections. I decide my success. Rudy Giuliani can still be President in 2016. He may never get the job, but few people ever do.

(Editor’s note…just before I went to sleep, I saw a few clips that were part of the replay of the Patriots-Rams Superbowl played 4 months after 9/11 to close out the 2001. With a couple minutes left in the half, Pat Summerall and John Madden pointed to the booth to show Giuliani and Judi Nathan. Summerall and Madden praised them. What a knife in the heart way to end my night. Like the Rams, Rudy was a heavy favorite that got shocked.)

The bottom line is that the process does work. I still believe in it.

Political science classes will see the Giuliani campaign as a spectacular gamble that failed. Yet the strategy was not a mistake. It just did not work. Had anybody but McCain won South Carolina, Rudy would be in good shape right now. Had Thompson stayed in, that would have helped.

Then again, the republican party is a hierarchy that always nominates the man next in line. Yes Rudy was the frontrunner for awhile, but McCain was next in line. He fell short in 2000, and this was his turn.

Rudy Giuliani should get that Vice Presidential slot. That way he will be next in line.

If one positive thing came out of this campaign, it was that Giuliani and McCain consistently said positive things about each other. Contrast that with the democratic nominees. Their mutual admiration society was not fake. They genuinely respect each other.

McCain will be the boss, but every leader needs quality people around him. Giuliani will not be the top dog, but as he reminded us, he can still help shape history.

I hope he does. There is a war for civilization going on, and John McCain and Rudy Giuliani are prepared to take the fight to the enemy.

As for me, I believe In Rudy, and he believes in McCain. I believed in McCain in the past, and am ready to do so again.

The mourning period must be brief. I need to roll up my sleeves. There is much work to do, and not much time to do it.

Here I go again…and if I have to…on my own.

eric

This is Dead Week, the worst week of the calendar year. There is no NFL Football this Sunday, since the Superbowl is not until next week.

I hate Dead Week. It is a reminder that while the Pro Bowl is in 2 weeks, in 3 weeks there will be no football. I will have nothing to do. Every offseason gets tougher for me. I have no other hobbies, nor do I care to develop them.

This makes my column on Sundays a practical blank piece of paper. I could take Sundays off, but until my blog is established to my satisfaction, it will be a 7 day adventure.

Some have asked me how I write a column every day, but the truth is I do have a lot of “filler,” although that filler is still helpful to some. One example is the recap I do of Presidential debates. Any monkey can transcribe, and I am happy to be that simian. Yet within a month, that well will run dry.

So what should I write about on Sundays starting 3 weeks from now? I would prefer it not be straight politics, since I do that Monday through Saturday. Here are some ideas below. I would like feedback, but may or may not listen.

1) I have written 70 songs in my lifetime. I could just post song lyrics from one song each Sunday, with the story or inspiration for the song.

2) Jdate horror stories. Jdate is a Jewish dating website, and while most of my experiences have been positive, train wrecks do make for good writing.

3) Links to other articles…a complete copout.

4) I did a radio show for 15 years where I played rock music. I could transcribe my comments from one show per week, or perhaps play the clips if I can figure out how to transfer them from cassettes and cds to internet files. The show was called “Hard as a rock.”

5) I could have people submit me articles from their blogs, and the very best article would be published on my site, with me only providing bookend comments.

6) I could provide links to You Tube videos I like, but then I would have to actually go on You Tube. I suppose I could. In the meantime, here is a hysterically funny clip somebody sent me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2triiYXSY8

I could just play a video clip of me holding a remote control and sobbing uncontrollably, knowing that no matter how furiously I change the channels, there is no football.

About 25-30 Sundays with nothing to do. I hang out with my friends or go on dates in the evenings, but during the day?

I have 3 weeks to figure this out. Otherwise, the quality of this blog is going to drop 14.2%, or 0% for those who already feel it has dropped 100% from its early promise.

Oh yeah, and the democrats had the South Carolina Primary yesterday. Wake me up when the Panthers improve.

Happy Dead Week everybody.

eric

The Tygrrrr Express is Bama bound.

Given my love of Tigers (with the exception of the Detroit Tigers and Tiger Woods, who I am neutral towards), I visit campuses that feel the same. I have been to Princeton, NJ, and the Clemson campus in South Carolina. The only thing left is to visit more of them at Auburn in Alabama.

For those who have seen the movie, “My Cousin Vinny,” where New Yorkers face culture shock in the deep south, I can say that this is not what happens to me. Sorry to disappoint those that have never been to a red state, but they are fairly normal people. As for the deep south, the one stereotype that is true is that the food is fantastic. Southern hospitality and food is as true as it is fantastic.

I say this because as the Presidential race kicks into high gear, I confess to being a tad jealous of the candidates. I could care less about their wealth, and while the power is nice, it is not the end all be all. What I am jealous of is that they get to meet millions of Americans and hear their stories. If I could shake the hand of every American and hear their story, I would try to do it.

For those who remember Charles Kuralt, he would take his camper around America into small towns, and just meet Americans. I refuse to call them average or ordinary, because they are just plain great. With Mr. Kuralt gone, the closest thing would be to meet John Madden. Lord knows I would eat well.

For those who have never been to the deep south, it is true freedom. For one, it is freedom from traffic. People drive fast in the left lane, and slower cars actually move out of the way so the faster cars can get on with their lives. This does not happen in big cities in California. When Yahoo Maps tells me something will take 2 1/2 hours, in the south it takes me 90 minutes.

The people are friendly. True, when I say I am a New Yorker, or that I live in Los Angeles, they initially think that I think that I am better than they are. Truth is, there is plenty of arrogance on the coasts to justify this suspicion. Then when I let them know that I grew up on Long Island, my dad played the banjo, and that I like red meat, football, and support the NRA, I make friends easily. I don’t watch NASCAR, but when I tell them I haven’t been able to watch since Dale Earnhardt died, they understand, and hope one day I will watch Junior. The reason my comments are not patronizing is because the comments are sincere. I really am like this.

Oh, and they are very tolerant down south. I am Jewish. The bible belt is Christian, which in most cases means they like Jews. No, they do not try to convert me. They understand I do not believe in Jesus, but they are appreciative that I overwhelmingly respect that they do. I wish more Jews, and liberals in general, could meet these fine people.

Some people say the south is the same south that was racist. If that were true, why are so many black Americans moving down there? Atlanta is still booming, and Charlotte is the biggest banking center outside of Wall Street. Prejudice can exist everywhere, including on the enlightened coasts where middle America is looked down upon.

I arrive in Atlanta Friday night, where a buddy of mine (Yes, he has a pickup truck, and I like it!) and I will be driving to Birmingham. Sunday night it is back to Hotlanta, where just outside the city people bought 4 or 5 bedroom houses for $200,000 only a couple years ago. The quality of life is peaceful. Monday night I am off to Washington, DC, where on Tuesday I will have the pleasure of meeting Giuliani, McCain, Romney, Thompson, and Brownback. Yes, that will be blogged about, and no, I can’t wait.

Then it is back home to Los Angeles on Tuesday night. I love this city, but getting out replenishes me. My blogging might be spotty over the next few days, but that is because I will be living life.

People ask what I do when I have writers block. So far I have been lucky. My life is a traveling carnival of adventure, and the adventures abound again very soon.

I will be meeting people, shaking hands, and if I work up the nerve, asking for votes.

As you know, I am competing in the bloggers choice awards, and am # 4 in the country. I am one spot behind left wing hate site Daily Kos, and I have several days left to defeat the Kossacks.

http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21020

I am not a natural politician. Yet the one thing that is natural about me is my liking of people. I hate having to ask for things. I am not a salesman. Yet when I have no agenda, to dive into a crowd and shake hands, and make friends, I am very at ease.

The key is to know the environment. To go to the deep south and ask where a guy can get a vegan dinner and a juice bar special is possible, but I am grateful that is not me.

People want to know that you know anything about anything they are familiar with. I remember talking to a lady in the Kentucky Attorney General’s office who was not happy about something. First of all, the words “attorney general” and “unhappy” should never be in the same sentence. The woman on the phone was pleasant, but she said, “The problem I have with you guys on the coasts is that you don’t know anything about Kentucky. You’ve never been here, met us, or even looked us up on a map.”

I had to correct her. “Mam, with all due respect, I grew up on Long Island, there was a farm around the corner, the general store was within walking distance, and one of my favorite songs is ‘Blue Moon of Kentucky.’” For the sake of ethics, I saw an episode of “King of the Hill,” where Boomhauer (sung by Vince Gill) sings the song, and it has been in my head for a decade. Nevertheless, the lady was incredulous, and she asked me to sing a few bars. I explained to her that I was at work, and I did not want to be carted away. It is important to note that one should also never mention the words “carted away” when talking to someone in an attorney general’s office.

So I sang to her, as my boss looked on wondering if I was on crack. “Blue Moon of Kentucky, Keep on Shining…Shine on the one whose gone and proved untrue. Blue Moon of Kentucky Keep on Shining…Shine on the one whose gone and left you blue.”

The woman said, “Young man, you are delightful. This matter is closed.” Now if we were guilty, a song would not have gotten us off the hook, but innocent people can get in trouble when they come across as unlikable. If I have trouble in Bama I know the song, “Hail…hail…the gang’s all here…at the Alabama Jubilee.” I just hope the officers are old enough to know country music legend Jerry Reed.

Some people think I like red states in the deep south because they vote republican. That is only partially the reason. It is that they believe in things that just do not resonate with many ivory tower liberals, particularly those in academia. For one thing, it was not New England liberals at Iwo Jima. It was “bubbas” fighting for their country, and proud to do so. Bubbas don’t think they are better than anybody else. They just don’t want to be treated like they are worse.

As for the women in the deep south, the moment they open their mouths, I want to just give them my credit cards. Scarlett O’Hara type women turn my brain to mush. Hot, sexy, republican women…heck, even the Jewish ones, while democrats, are not leftists.

While the south is as modern as anywhere else, try finding a general store on a corner on either coast. A song my dad played for me as a kid talks about how life used to be. It just moves so fast, so think about how great it would be if it would just slow down once in awhile. The south moves, but not at the breakneck pace of the coasts. In the south, you can sit back and smell the flowers, and they smell great. As for the song…

“There’s an old wooden sign…just outside of Stratton, Maine…it says…’if we ain’t got it…you don’t need it…Bill Jones’ General Store’

Oh I can hear the creaking, of that rusty old screen door…smell the penny candy…at Bill Jones General Store…the pipe smoke and tobacco…wet boots on the floor…Campbell’s Soup and shotgun shelves, at Bill Jones General Store.”

The song is actually sad. It talks about how the town gets deserted, because times change, and in real life, the store gets replaced with a conglomerate. Yet what does not change is the dignity of the people in the town.

We grow or we die, and progress is not always so. Yet it is possible to be modern without giving up old fashioned values, such as God, country, and yes, mom and apple pie. That is not “hokey.” It is traditional.

I love LA, it is my home, but there are too many liberals here, taking days off of work to protest the right to protest and not work. I look forward to five days away from them, so that I can come back and remind myself that normal people do exist.

Plus, if we can just get the car cranked up to 90, my friend and I can emulate my heroes of 30 years ago. Yes, 1977, the year that Burt Reynolds and Jerry Reed brought America the Bandit and the Snowman in “Smokey and the Bandit.” Interstate 20 is a straight shot from Bama to Hotlanta. It is a sweet drive during the day, and a rapid dream at night. Now all I need is the black Trans Am.

“Put your foot hard on the peddle…son never mind them breaks…let it all hang out, cause we got a run to make…the boys are thirsty in Atlanta, and there’s beer in Texarkana…we’ll bring it back, no matter what it takes…Eastbound and down, loaded up and trucking’…we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done…we got a long way to go, and a short time to get there…eastbound, for another Bandit run.”

I will leave you all with the theme from the third Smokey movie, a song by Lee Greenwood that is so rare that even he can’t seem to find a copy of it (I asked his people). Lee Greenwood does sing, “God Bless the USA,” but he also sings my theme song, “The Bandit Express.”

“Look out the Bandit’s coming, get your money and warn the women…tell them smokeys all to take a rest…because they’ll never catch the Bandit Express.”

Yes folks, that is how my blog came into existence. There can only be one bandit, and Burt Reynolds took care of that. I am a Raider, a pirate, and many other characters.

Yet at heart, I am a Tiger. To be more accurate, a Tygrrrr.

I am Bama Bound. So hide your kitchen utensils, snap on tools, and Jewish republican brunettes with hot southern accents. Break out your best plastic silverware and lock the liberals on the coasts so I can get some needed relaxation in the south, aka relaxation nation.

“Tell your daughters they better get some rest…cause they’ll never catch the Tygrrrr Express.”

eric

I began blogging on March 11th, 2007. On my 6 month anniversary, I decided to replay “Permanent Flame.” A final verse was added today. 

As You read this, know that at 8:46am on 9/11/7, I will be on a plane to New York. This flight was arranged deliberately. I wear the red, white and blue of America on my t-shirt, and these colors don’t run.

Permanent Flame–In memory of the United 93 Heroes

March 31st, 2007 at 4:13 pm (POLITICS, MUSIC) · Edit

7/30/6 PERMANENT FLAME

Chorus: NEVER FORGOTTEN…PERMANENT FLAME

NO LONGER HERE, BUT YOU’LL ALWAYS REMAIN

3000 GONE…BUT NEVER IN VAIN

HONOR THEIR MEMORY…TAKE BACK THE PLANE

1a) September 11^th, 2001

Started so normal, ended so wrong

American airplanes, turned into guns

Fired on our towers, that stood proud and strong

1b) Black clouds from New York…to the Pentagon

60 years after 1941

American steel…will never yield

Look at the hole, in the Pennsylvania field

1c) Beamer and company, saw America attacked

Our Capitol saved, because they fought back

Ordinary people…scared but so bold

Rose to the challenge…told the world “let’s roll”

Chorus

2a) Some blamed the US, but nothing we did

Justified the murder, of innocent kids

Since then we’ve had Bali, London and Madrid

We try to save the world, across the global grid

2b) 2002…Afghanistan

Liberated a nation, routed the Taliban

2003…war in Iraq

Saddam in jail…democracy on track

2c) September 11^th, 2004

36 months, since the start of the war

Less people airborne, scared to the core

What can we do…we must do more

Chorus

3a) An ordinary man…I see in the mirror

But now I understand…the picture is clearer

Only total victory…in the war on terror

Will make America…for all our children better

3b) Our soldiers fight…because the cause is right

So our children are safe…when tucked in at night

Donate your dollars to police…and those who firefight

Money left over…go book that flight

Chorus

4a) September 11^th, 2006

Chargers vs Raiders…I got my tix

From LAX…TO OAK

Don’t worry mom and dad, I’ll be ok

4b) I need to do this, it helps heal the pain

I’ll get home safely, so don’t be afraid

I’m only one link in an American chain

If others join me, we can take back the plane

4c) So call up United, Delta and Southwest

Show all the world our American best

Take back our freedom…take back the sky

For our fallen heroes…American Eagles let’s fly

Chorus (2x)

May God Bless the USA…again…Let’s roll.

September 11th…2007

En route to New York…I point to the Heavens

The war we will win…and evil we’ll sever

September 11th, 2000-Forever

America Forever!

eric

Rush Limbaugh has a satirist named Paul Shanklin. Mr. Shanklin has come up with brilliant parodies. His best was a takeoff on the famous 1950s song by “The Coasters,” entitled, “Yakkety Yak, Don’t Talk Back.” His version, at the height of the intial Iraq War was, “Yakkety Yak, Bomb Iraq.”

It is in that spirit that I offer a satire of Barack Obama, who should guest host “Saturday Night Live,” since he is simply not ready for prime time.

http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2007/06/08/william-jefferson-is-innocent-by-louisiana-standards/ (a previous satire of Congressman William “Weezie” Jefferson.)

I have nothing against Mr. Obama. I am sure he is a nice guy. However, I feel he is simply not up to snuff, and his recent comments on several issues reveal him to be a lightweight. With that, I present the song, “Yakkety Yak, Don’t Talk Barack.”

You’ve only been around two years…

You are still wet behind the ears…

You need to listen to your peers…

Before you spout off big ideas…

Yakkety Yak…Don’t Talk Barack!

Nobody cares that you are black…

It’s not your race that we attack…

It’s your ideas and what they lack…

An ounce of substance, that’s a fact…

Yakkety Yak, No Beef Barack!

You move so fast, you are so deft…

Yet you can’t hide from the hard left…

Despite your style, gab is your gift…

Again of substance you’re bereft…

Yakkety Yak, Enough Barack!

The USA’s military might…

Cannot be given to a neophyte…

Read the foreign policy books on your bookshelf…

And then come back in 2012…

Yakkety Yak, Not Now Barack!

America’s worried about Osama…

Yet what would you do Obama…

Hey do you even have a plan…

Oh yeah you want to bomb Pakistan…

Yakkety Yak, Shut Up Barack!

Barack I say this with respect…

I wish you nothing but the best…

You had a most impressive ride…

For a man whose just not qualified…

Yakkety Yak, So Long Barack!

At some point in the future, when Barack Obama is a trivial pursuit question on par with Kristin Shepherd (the woman who shot J.R. Ewing), this will all be something we can laugh about. However, given that we are fighting World War III, it is no laughing matter that a man with so little to offer in terms of anything tangible can be so high in the polls.

It is not the audacity of hope. It is the audacity of thinking that hope by itself is a replacement for actual solutions, and that waxing eloquent equals understanding.

eric

Where are the Pro-war movies?

Long before Hollywood made it’s living aiding and comforting the enemies of the nation that pays their mostly undeserved salaries, there was a time when the entertainment industry loved America. During World War II, they loved America as it was, not the obscure utopian society they wished it to be. The movie industry showed America and the Allies as the good guys, the Axis as the bad guys, and the twain did not meet. Patriotic movies had rich soundtracks with music designed to pump up emotions and tug at heart strings. It is time to write that movie today.

My knowledge is not movies. It is music, primarily 1980s hard rock music, which had its zenith from 1986 to 1992. There are many songs that could be used at various scenes in the movie. I have no knowledge of the political views of many of the artists, or whether or not they would approve of their music being used to promote America’s justified struggle to win the War on Terror. Nevertheless, let freedom ring and the music blare.

The movie could start out with Osama hiding in a cave, as Firehouse’s “Reach for the sky,” starts to play. “Well I’m an outlaw…I make my living on the run…my life is lonely…but I was born to need no one…always on my own.” A video camera can then pan away to soldiers training by shooting at bulls eyes of Bin Laden. “Reach for the sky…I’ll shoot you down, in the blink of an eye…nowhere to run, nowhere to hide…I’ve got the drop on you, so raise ‘em high…reach for the sky.”

As Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “The smell of death,” booms loudly, the American soldiers refuse to let anything stand in their path. “Whiskey bottles…brand new car…oak tree you’re in my way.” The troops soldier on, very motivated.

There would be car chases, explosions, heroes saving lives, and testosterone filled rock music. There would be fierce firefights, one of which would take place with the recent song by “Kiss” star Paul Stanley. As we kicked in doors and hunted terrorists one by one, over the loudspeakers would play. “Day by day, kicking on all the way, I’m not caving in…Live to win…till you die…live to win.”

In one of the bloodiest firefights of the movie, the Sammy Hagar song from the Sylvester Stallone movie “Over the Top” would be playing. A movie about arm wrestling is a great metaphor for a movie about hand to hand combat. “A burst of light…inside your soul…and when the heart…gets pumped up for the gold…there’s no defeat…you’d sooner die…it’s man to man, as we stand, eye to eye…Winner takes it all…loser takes a fall…fight to the beginning of the end…Winner takes it all…till he breaks or falls…time to make it over the top.” At that moment an American soldier would find Osama and and shove him up against the wall, decking him in the face and forcing him to submit to American will and steel before he is beaten up some more.

I want to make it crystal clear that I am not trivializing war. War is hell, and no sane person wants it. However, America never asked for war. We were attacked, and are fighting back. It would help if we could win the public relations war. The soldiers are fabulous. The media undermines them.

Manuel Noriega was brought down not just by military force, but by rock music. He was holed up in a church, which should have lost its protection under the Geneva Convention since it was used for criminal purposes. We blared rock music so that Noriega could not sleep. He caved.

Caved is the appropriate word. We need to go to every cave, and let every cave dweller know that they will not sleep peacefully until they turn over Osama. Anybody who thinks this would fail has never witnessed an American parent trying to think when their teenage son is listening to rock music. True, the ACLU would consider this torture, but to pacify them we can offer to switch to easy listening or show tunes depending on the level of cooperation.

A clip of Osama and his fellow terrorists plotting strategy and justifying their lunacy could be dubbed over with Santa Esmeralda doing his remake of a classic 1960s song by “The Animals (how appropriate).” “I’m just a soul, whose intentions are good…oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

For those who like 1960s music, upon capturing Osama, we can have a hard rock remake of the classic song made famous by the Bobby Fuller Four. Osama is dragged away in chains (and a couple bullet holes in him leaving him alive but wounded) to the song, “I fought the law, and the law won.”

Captured homicide bombers will be forced to listen to Bon Jovi. “Better stand tall when they’re calling you out…don’t bend, don’t break, baby don’t back down. It’s my life…it’s now or never…I aint gonna live forever…I just want to live while I’m alive.”

1980s rock music would be a great choice because it represents the gaudiest of American culture. Long out of control hair, men wearing lipstick, high falsetto voices, reckless sex…it is every stereotype that causes the lunatics to hate us. The ACDC song “Moneytalks” could show Americans at our materialistic, imperialistic finest. “Tailored suits…chauffeured cars…fine hotels…and big cigars…up for grabs…up for a price…where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night…Come on, come on, love me for the money…come on, come on, listen to the moneytalks.”

Imagine how humiliating it would be for the Al Queda murderers if right after we captured Osama, General Tommy Petraeus had his feet on a coffee table lighting up a big, fat stogie. Some may think this is based on the Will Smith movie “Independence Day,” but it is actually reflected in Alberto Fujimori, the Japanese former President of Peru. After some leftist rebels took hostages, he did not negotiate. He had his men storm in, killed all the rebels, and saved almost every hostage. He was criticized for his post victory machismo. He was right.

Fujimori did not negotiate. Neither did Ariel Sharon, the bulldozer. Neither did Vladimir Putin when terrorists took over a school. Neither did Margaret Thatcher when dealing with the Falklands. Neither did George W. Bush when 9/11 happened. The time to negotiate is when your enemy is on his knees and his face is bleeding.

If only the media, especially Hollywood, could understand that most Americans love America, and understand that we are the good guys. We feed, clothe, protect and defend the world. We bring God’s gift of freedom and liberty to places that have never had it.

This is not done through kumbaya or love trains. It is done through blood, sweat and tears. It is not pretty, but it is noble, decent and right.

In the final firefight, as Asia’s “Heat of the moment,” and Europe’s “The Final Countdown,” blare loudly, the troops kick in the door, and ask Bin Laden if he believes in his warped, bastardized version of Allah that justifies 9/11. When he says yes, we reply “Good, because you’re about to meet him.”

Def Leppard’s “Rocket,” Guns n Roses’s, “Welcome to the Jungle,” and Aerosmith’s “The other side,” are used to break his will. We then make sure every camera is on Bin Laden’s terrified weakening excuse for a soul. Just before two bullets are put in his heart, Golden Earring’s “Twilight Zone,” plays loudly.

“You will come to know…when the bullet hits the bone. You will come to know…when the bullet hits the bone.”

As the credits roll, Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” plays. “Exit light, enter night, grain of sand, off to never never land.” The Rolling Stones would end the credits with either “Sympathy for the Devil,” or “Paint it Black.”

9/11 will be avenged against everyone who either commits, supports or harbors terrorists in any way, shape or form. For those who hate America…bring it on. For those who love America…Help make this Pro-American movie. Bring on the 1980s rock music.

I applaud those who “get it.” For those who do not, “You’ll come to know…when the bullet hits the bone.”

eric